Yes, your kids are on screens in these trying times. No, you're not a terrible parent because of coronavirus.

For many U.S. students these days, getting ready for school means a shake of the mouse to wake up the computer. 

But the coronavirus outbreak is testing many parents' rules, long advocated by pediatricians and parenting experts alike. What do you do about "screen-time" limits when school, social interactions and time with loved ones have all moved online? 

For mom Jenn Adams of Williston, Vermont, the decision was clear: She shifted expectations and plans to allow her children, ages 5 and 7, to have spurts of screen time.

"With little time for preparation, our educators have had to make decisions and implement strategies that may go against our norms. But what else isn’t breaking our norms right now?" Adams said.

When will school reopen? No date in sight, and schools are struggling to put learning online

'Screen-time limits' becoming obsolete

That approach is just fine, experts say. And the old view of "screen time" was outdated, anyway. 

"Screen-time limits are obsolete," said Dr. Michael Rich, the director of the Center on Media and Child Health. The guidelines originally were built on television research, when media interaction was primarily for diversion. Blanket screen-time limits never worked well because they presented media as the "forbidden fruit" and inadvertently encouraged usage, Rich said. 

At the center, which is affiliated with Boston Children's Hospital, Rich and his colleagues are "upending the paradigm." Research and clinical work has led them to “abandon the idea of 'screen-time limits,' but not abandon the idea of limiting screen time.” 

Known as the "Mediatrician" in the blogosphere, Rich advises parents to look at a child's day as a 24-hour empty glass. That cup of time should be filled with a diverse menu of experiences. Parents should be conscious of what a child is not doing because of screens.

The American Academy of Pediatrics provides a Media Time Calculator tool, similar to what Rich described, that allows families to create time blocks for other activities and see what time is left for media.

"Online education requires significantly more motivation and attention for kids," said Kevin M. Pellon, Vermont father of daughters ages 6 and 8. He thinks the increased screen time will become unappealing after a while. "I believe it will be difficult to focus on a pixelated video screen when kids could browse through a book or find ways to be creative."

Use technology to connect with grandparents, friends

Pellon thinks technology affords his girls opportunities they might not have otherwise, like "virtual tours kids can go into, like a zoo, museum or art show."

For Carolyn Tesini, a Vermont mother who has no extended family locally, technology is helping her 7-year-old daughter connect with grandparents while Tesini and her husband continue to work full time. Utilizing the ECHO Show, her daughter will have twice weekly Italian lessons with one grandfather, a weekly music lesson with another and daily reading help from her grandmother. "It's screen time, but at least it's interactive," Tesini said.  

Isolation from the coronavirus provides an opportunity to turn the online space into a power tool, both for learning and connection, Rich said. "It's important they continue their social-emotional as well as their cognitive or academic growth in these strange times," he said.

Online platforms have become the "electronic town square," and it is more important than ever to connect socially, he said. He prefers the term "physical distancing" instead of "social distancing." 

Adams is encouraging screen usage with her children through "video calls with friends and family to preserve connection and ease feelings of being out of sync," she said. 

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How to make online time productive time, from elementary to college

When students are online to learn, parents should look to promote good learning practices.

"There are so many bad habits," said Jeffrey Renard, director of the Vermont Virtual Learning Cooperative. To promote the best use of technology for learning, he suggests children continue to get up at their normal school-day time, dress for school (no pajamas allowed) and have a designated space for school activities. Laptops in bed are bad for circulation and posture, he said. Having paper and pen next to the computer are also helpful, as the act of writing helps to reinforce online learning content.

Younger students may need assistance with setting up and using online tools, and they may require longer blocks of offline time, Renard said. Those younger children also may do best with some "synchronous learning," teleconferencing with teachers and classmates. 

Is online school enough? Or will states need to hold kids back, institute summer school?

For middle and high school students, Renard said maintaining socialization through discussions, forums or collaboration is important to maintain. These students could also take advantage of a flexible schedule, mixing up extracurricular activities and learning time.

College students can take advantage of virtual classes by developing online skills congruent with workforce expectations. Learning in this way promotes "self-direction, time management and communication," Renard said.

"This is an important moment for the educational system in America," Renard said. The next few weeks are crucial to maintain and expand relationships, as well as keep the health and welfare of America's students intact. It's a significant shift for most families, and it may take some time to get it down, make it routine.

"In a scary situation like this, routine is comforting," Rich said. Scheduled activities and structure can quell anxiety.

Online learning can help kids realize there are still expectations for them, he said. It is "not an indefinite snow day."

Follow April Barton on Twitter: @aprildbarton